3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
