Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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