Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
