Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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