You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
