So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
