youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
