To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
