I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
