Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
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