Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
