We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
