her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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