Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
