Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I think people are normalizing furries
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Randomize
