You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dick very happy bro
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Randomize
