He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
