Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
