I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Randomize
