this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
You are a genius and a whore.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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