Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
you had me at cake vodka
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
