Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
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