Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
My vagina is very pro this idea
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
