I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
