Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
