Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
