my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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