need another drink. this is the easiest way
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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