Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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