Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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