The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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