Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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