got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
you told grandpa to call you daddy
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
