I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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