Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
