Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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