I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize