he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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