worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
