I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
