Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
