so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
