you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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