In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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