We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
