HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Randomize
