i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
