I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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