wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Randomize
