he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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