I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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