Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
