AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
