in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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