I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize