Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
