garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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