how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
