i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
