I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
