we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
