I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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